[ti:Selfish (Explicit)] [ar:Dave/James Blake] [al:The Boy Who Played the Harp (Explicit)] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.09]Selfish (Explicit) - Dave/James Blake [00:01.17]Lyrics by:Dave/James Blake [00:02.04]Composed by:Dave/James Blake [00:02.97]Produced by:James Blake/Santan [00:17.27]What if I'm selfish? [00:19.28]What if I'm the reason behind it? [00:22.21]What if I'm overprotective with family because of how mine is? [00:24.84]What if I'm jealous? [00:27.18]Maybe that's what's making me nervous [00:29.64]What if my effort of pulling you close are pushing you further? [00:32.58]What if I'm selfish? [00:34.70]What if the reason they call me"The Greatest" [00:37.40]Is also the reason that me and you livin' on different pages? [00:40.30]What if I'm too much? [00:42.28]What if I settled and I didn't fight? [00:44.17]What if my fear of doing it wrong's the reason [00:46.47]I haven't been doing it right? [00:48.10]What if I'm selfish? [00:50.06]What if the kids just wanna be kids [00:52.01]And don't wanna live in and out of the news and chill [00:54.26]And don't even wanna be rich? [00:55.73]And what if I'm so self-centred that [00:57.65]I don't even realise what I could miss? [00:59.58]And what if I'm what if I'm fallin' in the abyss? [01:03.63]Maybe it's [01:05.54]What if I'm [01:06.58]Yeah [01:07.42]Maybe it's dark maybe it's day maybe it's too many nights in L.A. [01:11.25]Look at the house in Surrey and still [01:13.16]All of the feelings we hid in the Hills [01:15.05]Maybe it's you maybe it's me maybe the media or the provoking [01:18.89]Gave you my heart I laid it bare funny you went and you poked it [01:22.88]What if it's better with me out the way? [01:24.82]What if it's better with me out the [01:26.61]Like what if it's better with me out the way? [01:28.67]What if I'm poison? [01:29.64]What if I'm cancer? [01:30.63]What if I'm dangerous and I'm wild? [01:32.51]Look in my eyes you're seein' a child [01:34.45]What if he's broken? [01:35.41]What if he's scared? [01:36.47]What if he's ostracised and vilified? [01:38.56]See peace is just an illusion [01:40.29]Ain't got a home I live in confusion [01:42.13]What if I'm selfish? [01:44.93]Forever forever forever [01:48.04]I manage the symptoms forever [01:52.22]You can love how you want [01:55.81]I know to give is no loss [02:00.05]Can you settle for second? [02:03.34]Let go of your idea of heaven? [02:07.87]I know it's a lot [02:10.56]But it might be all that I've got [02:15.31]I wanna throw myself in [02:19.62]Snap off the mask [02:23.20]I want a clown that sings [02:26.94]And a love that lasts [02:31.18]I wanna escape the wedding [02:34.70]Go with you to the carriage [02:38.45]I wanna give you my life [02:42.07]Or at least something to cherish [02:46.76]But what if I'm selfish? [02:48.95]I done a lot of things to regret [02:50.78]Like announcin' our split on a text [02:52.26]Don't know why but I still buy gifts for my ex [02:54.52]Watchin' her stories to see if she checks [02:56.19]I'm a mess I don't know if my head's in the game [02:58.42]She told me don't mention her name I'm suggestin' the same [03:01.00]I'ma get through the pain wanna see the sunshine [03:02.88]Gotta get through the rain [03:04.11]Bag full of trauma I left on the train [03:05.94]I'm ashamed for the days that I said that I changed [03:07.72]I'm a cheat sat in a therapist chair [03:09.59]Cryin' like a baby in the middle of a Harley Street [03:12.04]Like I'm fightin' this sickness that I can't beat I'm disloyal [03:15.02]And then I go mad reflection tellin' me I'm just my dad [03:17.88]And this white woman tellin' me it ain't so bad [03:19.99]Middle of my sentence she cut me off like [03:21.91]"Sorry David we don't have any more time [03:23.58]"Your appointment till 4 and it's 3:55" [03:25.69]Bruh I feel like she wouldn't even care if I died [03:27.63]Man tried all this therapy **** man tried all this therapy **** [03:30.72]Bruh I know wouldn't even say I'm depressed [03:32.57]But I'm low in the Grosvenor Casino in Edgware Road [03:34.87]I've got too many sins to atone and a voice in my head [03:37.72]Like at this point like [03:39.09]At this point where you should've been rich like [03:41.00]At this point where you should've had kids like [03:42.89]At this point should've built you a life like [03:44.85]Look around you don't you feel you're behind? Like [03:46.81]Look around you don't you feel you're behind? Like [03:48.62]Look around you don't you feel like like [03:51.13]What if I never find love? [03:52.77]Don't know if it's scarier [03:53.97]The thought of us two together or bein' alone [03:56.66]I'm so used to bein' alone [03:58.47]What if I'm somebody nobody wants? [04:00.27]What if I'm damaged or what if waited too long [04:02.31]And have mould on me? [04:03.14]What if I'm cold on me? [04:04.02]What if I cut off the hand that I hold on me? [04:06.11]What if I'm rapidly spiralin' and tired and jaded? [04:08.81]Or what if I'm faded? [04:09.90]Or what if anxiety's growin' inside me [04:11.67]That I might have left all my best years behind me? [04:13.61]Or what if I'm scared as I touch twenty-seven [04:15.54]That you don't appear in my idea of heaven? [04:17.44]Or what if I'm what if I'm [04:20.94]What if I'm selfish?