[ti:Personal Column] [ar:Jake Thackray] [al:Jake In A Box Vol 1 & 2] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Personal Column - Jake Thackray [00:09.45]Right behind the headlines of the papers [00:11.95]There's a space entitled Personal [00:14.80] [00:17.69]And since I'm young and sensitive [00:19.88]It's always there I turn to first of all [00:23.51] [00:26.35]For in between the vibro-massage sauna baths [00:29.76]The rubber goods the corsetry [00:31.85] [00:35.31]Someone sends a message [00:36.66]That is classified as advertising Agony [00:40.95] [00:43.86]Agony will always find a way [00:46.39] [00:46.94]You read there every day [00:48.36]True-life love stories taken short [00:51.93] [00:55.68]Agony at seven-and-a-kick a time [00:58.01] [00:58.69]A stifled sob a line [01:00.23]A list of breaking hearts and surgical supports [01:04.70] [01:07.33]"Molly will you please come home [01:09.42]I miss you Will you please forgive me [01:12.59] [01:15.81]I love you very much [01:17.49]And I am sorry for what I did Love Sidney" [01:21.28] [01:24.33]"Artistic photographs plain paper covers [01:27.17]Fifty-nine-and-sixpence postage free" [01:29.63] [01:32.63]"Unsightly hair on arms and legs [01:35.06]And faces is removed quite painlessly" [01:38.88] [01:41.59]Who knows if wayward Molly will return [01:44.66]Does Sidney really yearn [01:46.29]And if he does does Molly care [01:49.59] [01:53.26]What quarrel set them at each other's throats [01:55.48] [01:56.38]Did Sidney send for postcards through the post [01:59.07]Or did Molly grow superfluous hair everywhere [02:03.26] [02:04.94]"Widow 46 would like sophisticated gentleman to contact her [02:10.62] [02:13.49]Similar interests and with a view to friendliness [02:16.87] [02:17.64]Motor car preferred" [02:19.06] [02:21.99]"Mrs Ivy Armitage thanks all her friends for kindnesses [02:25.79]When times were hard" [02:27.45] [02:30.07]And"The Honorable Dicky Cholmondley [02:32.15]Is not sending anybody any Christmas cards" [02:35.50] [02:38.74]"Dynamic methods Strengthen and Refine [02:40.96] [02:41.84]The Power of your Mind" [02:43.29]In case your memories are none too good; [02:47.14] [02:50.20]And if you cannot manage on your own [02:53.10]Take out a personal loan [02:54.63]There's no security it's understood [02:59.06] [03:01.47]"Seven days' free trial for an anti-nuclear shelter [03:05.34] [03:06.01]No obligations at all" [03:07.51] [03:09.42]And there's news of debutantes coming out with [03:12.55]All the customary Belgrave balls [03:15.63] [03:18.15]Ten shillings reward: Box No 33 [03:20.95]Has gone and lost her budgerigar [03:23.30] [03:25.96]"Happy Birthday darling Sheila [03:27.83]From your Mummy and your Daddy [03:30.00] [03:30.88]Wherever you are" [03:32.03] [03:34.81]Right behind the headlines of the papers [03:37.48]There's a space entitled Personal [03:40.27] [03:42.71]And for those who get the agony [03:45.28]That's the place to turn to first of all