[ti:Vegematic] [ar:Steve Goodman] [al:Affordable Art] [by:] [offset:0] [00:00.00]Vegematic - Steve Goodman [00:15.23]Fell asleep last night with the TV on [00:18.39]Oh what a dream I had [00:20.94]I dreamed I went and answered every single one [00:24.07]Of those late night mail order ads [00:27.50]And four to six weeks later much to my surprise [00:33.45]The mailman came to my front door [00:36.29]And I couldn't believe my eyes [00:38.71]When he brought the Vegematic [00:41.90]And the Pocket Fisherman too [00:45.25]Illuminated illustrated history of life [00:48.07]Boxcar Willie with a Ginzu knife [00:50.64]A bamboo steamer and a Garden Weasel too [00:56.41]And a tie-dyed dayglo souvenir shirt from Six Flags Over Burbank [01:08.05]Well the doorbell rang all morning and all through the afternoon [01:13.98]I shook with fright as it rang all night [01:16.68]To the light of the Master Card moon [01:19.51]There was Parcel Post in the pantry [01:22.75]UPS in the hall [01:25.70]COD to the ceiling and I just couldn't pay for it all [01:30.86]I got the egg scrambler with a Seal-a-Meal carrying case [01:37.31]A set of presidential commemorative plates [01:39.78]So I could eat my eggs off the President's face [01:42.86]A Minute Mender and a needle that'll knit or crochet [01:48.55]And an autographed photograph of Rin Tin Tin [01:51.78]At Six Flags Over Burbank [02:00.31]I remembered I was dreaming so I gave a mighty cheer [02:06.33]When I awoke it was no joke 'cause all that sh*t was here [02:11.86]So if you fall asleep with the TV on [02:14.94]Let me tell you what to do [02:17.99]Rip the telephone out of the wall [02:20.78]Unless you want it to happen to you [02:23.28]You get the Vegematic and the Pocket Fisherman too [02:29.75]Illuminated illustrated history of life [02:32.70]And Boxcar Willie with a Ginzu knife [02:35.18]A bamboo steamer and a smokeless ashtray too [02:41.01]And an all expenses paid weekend for three at Six Flags Over Burbank